Update

So recently I haven't been compelled to write on this, so tonight, even though no one is going to read this, I'm going to put an update up just to stay in practice and keep up the good habit of letting out my life into the interweb. Family=Suck, I hate the holidays and I'm sure I will bitch about this profusely in the days to come on this, so stay tuned for that one. The bike is pissing me off, I finally got around to changing the oil, I get everything back together and the piece wont start up. The starter motor runs great, and on a roll start it will make a few revolutions then just die, and I'm talking a few like 3, not 3,000 like it would do in a minute, but like 3. Frustrating and I don't have the money to work on it... Money... Unemployed, and down to a budget of $8. The jeep's brakes are destroyed, thusly can't drive to turn in apps, can't really apply that far away... Catch 22, and screwed... Need to work on that one.

Stay Tuned

The Emotion of Melody

So Saturday I went by moms house to use her car, she was late home as usual and then demanded on talking to me for half an hour before I could escape anyway. Fortunately I was playing around on the crappy classical guitar at that house and was able to play away any dissent I wanted to just shout out at her. I learned that give either a guitar or a piano I can put any emotion into melody, no matter if I could use words to describe it or not. Minor progressions, suspended chords, staccato or legato notes, I can make it all come out. I'm not a phenomenal musician, but I play well enough for myself and the purpose therein.

The Reckoning

Okay, here goes. Epiphany time. It's now useless for me to hate my parents for the divorce. I can't keep avoiding my mom just because of what she's done to my family. I can and will always hate their decisions, but now that they are both happy with where this is going I need to meet them where they are at and not let this junk get in the way of trying to be a family anyway. I will always hate what they have done. I will hate that they said that the marriage wasn't good from the first place, therefore making me and the other kids essentially mistakes in their life. A bad idea to bring into a bad marriage, or an attempt to bond together 2 people never meant to be together. So, I'm going to start talking to my mom again, start being around, maybe even get lunch with her and really talk.

I think I'm going to ask my dad if I can wear his wedding ring. He doesn't anymore and I would really like to wear it as a reminder of the good times and something to see to remind myself not to mess up the way they did.

Next epiphany, I had this one awhile ago, but am just now getting the courage to put it down and really talk about it. I'm happy for her, So incredibly happy for her. No matter how much I ever could have loved her she found someone who will do it better than I ever could have and that can give her EXACTLY what she wants in life, a family, something I could never have been able to do.

I'm all out of epiphanies for today.